It’s all boiled down to this, the I Love Money season finale. One former contestant from Flavor of Love, Rock of Love or I Love New York will win $250,000. It may not be true love, but I’m sure the winner will be fine with that.
The final four contestants are all aware that alliances are completely useless and everyone is alone. Real is scared that his fellow Stallionaire Whiteboy wants to get rid of him. They learn their first challenge is physical, which excites Whiteboy and terrifies Megan.
They see a set of beams suspended high in air. The object is to grab a doll, run across a beam, throw it over a balcony, and return to the starting position. Megan is first, and after struggling to pick up the doll, she drops it while walking across the beam, getting disqualified. Hoopz picks it up and runs across with no problem, but she forgets that she’s supposed to run back, which costs her valuable time, though she still finishes in 23 seconds. Real is third and he takes little baby steps across, completing it in 28 seconds. Whiteboy is last, and he runs across and back with no fear, winning with 16 seconds.
After the competition, Megan and Real commiserate, both thinking they’re going home. That night, the Power Dinner gets off to a slow start as everyone just drinks and comments on the delicious broccoli soup. Whiteboy puts a stop to that by talking about the game.
Real and Whiteboy get into a fight over Hoopz and Megan chimes in that Real doesn’t think Whiteboy is loyal. Hoopz rushes to defend her man, saying that if Megan was paymaster, she’d eliminate Whiteboy. This backfires, because Whiteboy is more interested in why Hoopz didn’t tell him this sooner. Whiteboy gets a bit tipsy, and the whole evening boils down to silly name calling.
I Love Money Elimination Time! Whiteboy is drunk as hell, and getting drunker with a glass of wine in his hand. He calls up Real and eliminates him because he feels Real took his eyes off the money and became distracted by his love for Hoopz.
The ceremony is not over, as Real is said to sit down on the bench. He’s joined by Pumkin, Toastee, The Entertainer, 12 Pack and Heather. They will be the jury that votes to decide what two contestants will move on to the final competition.
Whiteboy, still drunk, doesn’t seem to fully grasp what’s happening. Megan has flashbacks to her fights with all the jury members and how she orchestrated all their eliminations. After some thought, Megan quits. Really, she made it this far, then quits just so that those losers in the jury don’t get to decide her fate. Her check is voided and she seems happy that she played the game to this point, because she never thought she’d actually win. The members of the jury are stunned, and a little disappointed they came back for nothing.
The next day Whiteboy and Hoopz meet up for their final challenge. They will compete in a series of challenges all over town, eventually winding up back at the house. First they must get 100 pesos in the plaza before moving on. The host tells them the only rule is they can’t steal the money, and it’s kind of sad that this even needs to be a rule.
Whiteboy uses his bilingual skills to charm an old couple out of the money by giving an old Mexican woman a kiss. Hoopz struggles a bit longer, but ultimately she sells her diamond belly button ring for 100 pesos. En route to the second destination, Hoopz gets even further behind because a car accident forces her cab to make a detour.
The second checkpoint says to run down a steep hill to the beach, where they must push a giant coin through an obstacle course before getting on a boat. Just as Whiteboy completes it, Hoopz shows up to the giant coin. The boat drops them off on their beach, where they must swim to shore and climb the stairs to the mansion. Once there, the final task is to put pictures of all the contestants of I Love Money in the order they were eliminated.
Whiteboy struggles at the final challenge because he’s not that smart, and halfway through, Hoopz shows up to compete as well. Unfortunately for him, Whiteboy inverts Destiney and Mr. Boston, so though he completes it first, it’s not right. Hoopz finishes everything, and it’s perfect.
Hoopz wins! She’s in total shock over suddenly being $250,000 richer, and she’s very happy to be able to provide for her mom and her sisters. Also, this means she doesn’t have to stay with Real, which makes it worth every penny. To his credit, Whiteboy is a very gracious loser.
If you think I Love Money is over, then you’ve never seen a reality show on VH1 before. Next week at 8pm, it’s the I Love Money reunion show!
